WOOD ISLANDS – Due to increasing maintenance costs, potential labour shortages, and an unreliable long-term weather forecast, Marine Atlantic has decided to replace the existing ferries with a more energy-efficient option to travel to Nova Scotia: a giant catapult.
“Sure, when you first hear about it, it sounds dangerous,” said Northumberland Ferries spokesperson Ryan Steeves. “But a catapult never breaks down, doesn’t pollute the environment, and only needs like three people to operate.”
“I’m surprised it took so long for us to come up with this, honestly.”
A press release further describes this catapult as a significant upgrade from the existing car ferry service.
“Instead of a 75-minute, leisurely cruise from the port of Wood Islands, PEI to Caribou, Nova Scotia, we are pleased to offer our clients an exhilarating 45-second experience of being flung across the Northumberland Strait.”
“You’ll save hours of travel time, and have an experience you’ll never forget!”
Fares are $25 per one-way trip, with upgrade packages are available, starting at $40 for the use of the net to catch your car in Nova Scotia, and topping at $100 for use of a parachute.
At press time, numerous executives from the PEI airport were seen taking notes.
The Islander 