STRATFORD — In a surprising development, local snow plow driver Kris Cuthbert admits that he actually enjoys blocking in the driveways of people who have slighted him. “I mean, it’s part of the job to push an extra 4-5 feet of snow on people’s driveways. It’s not always fun, until it is,” says Cuthbert. “Especially … Continue reading Snow plow driver tries to downplay joy received in blocking driveways of his enemies
PEI Senators stocking hat pulled out of retirement to be #1 starter as current toque remains in laundry
CRAPAUD — A storied veteran with over 30 years experience has been called into service in an emergency, day-to-day basis as the number one starter toque has been placed on the 14-day Laundry Reserve list. “The [bright red PEI Senators toque that was given out as a promotion at home games during the AHL team’s … Continue reading PEI Senators stocking hat pulled out of retirement to be #1 starter as current toque remains in laundry
Not too late to get ahead of the storm, say Island fathers
STRATFORD — Despite slashing winds, blowing snow, and a solid amount of ice on the roads, Island fathers agree that it is not too late to get ahead of the storm if you get out right now. “Plows are still on the road,” say all Island patriarchs. “If you need to get anywhere, now is … Continue reading Not too late to get ahead of the storm, say Island fathers
Chicken on sale, reports Island mothers
CHARLOTTETOWN — According to multiple Island mothers, there is a sale on chicken at local grocery stores, and you should get some before they sell out. “It’s $3.99 a pound,” said one local mother who wished to remain nameless. “It’s a good deal. You can get some for this week, and then freeze some for … Continue reading Chicken on sale, reports Island mothers
All items on restaurant menu in quotation marks
RUSTICO — Reports circulated yesterday of a restaurant where all items on the menu have one — or multiple — items in quotation marks. Sammy’s Diner, a local restaurant specializing in pub “favourites” and local “cuisine,” advertises itself as “Famous for our ‘generous’ portions!” A brief glance through the restaurant’s 14-page laminated menu revealed multiple … Continue reading All items on restaurant menu in quotation marks
Pizza restaurant announces plan to open, close, reopen, close, relocate, rename, reopen, rebrand itself, and change menu within next 3 months
PARKDALE — An Island pizza restaurant has announced an ambitious plan for the next three months — it plans to open, close, reopen, close again, relocate, rename, change the menu, and rebrand itself within the next 90 days. Just recently opened in December 2021, Stan’s Pizza Palace has already been the subject of rumours that … Continue reading Pizza restaurant announces plan to open, close, reopen, close, relocate, rename, reopen, rebrand itself, and change menu within next 3 months
Call center veteran of 3 months promoted to senior manager
CHARLOTTETOWN -- Veteran call center employee, Mike Nicholson, whose tenure began in late November 2021, has been promoted to Senior Operations Manager effective immediately. This is as per a recent press release from Global Customer Service Operators (also known as GCSO), a local customer contact center specializing in inbound and outbound calls that has been … Continue reading Call center veteran of 3 months promoted to senior manager
Finally, something funny
Today marks the beginning of a new era in people reading funny things on their phones. The Islander is set to launch February 2022!
The Islander 