CARDIGAN — Citing a desire to fight Imperial unit oppression and disinformation, an enclave of hardcore metric system users have announced plans to protest the 70 mile yard sale this weekend.
One of the protestors, who refused to provide identification, said “We have let this go for far too long — it is time that we metric users stood up to the tyranny of miles, inches and pounds and proudly proclaim that the future is metric.”
“In groups of 1, 10, 100, or perhaps even 1,000, we want you to know that this isn’t a 70 mile yard sale. This is a 112.6 km yard sale..”
A press release later distributed by the group — calling themselves Imperial Measurement Demeans Users of Metric, or IMDUM for short — stated their goal is to promote the use of centimeters, meters, and kilometers, and break the reliance on previous and confusing methods of calculating distances.
“From Up West to Down East, this is a metric province. So pick up your 500 ml water bottles, gas up your car in liters of unleaded gas, and enjoy the freedom that the metric system brings.”
At press time, the group had splintered further into a hardline faction that want to promote the use of deciliters versus those who say that is a step too far.
The Islander 