CHARLOTTETOWN — A fella who frequently says that Canada is the greatest country in history and anyone who disagrees is “[F]ree to move back to their own country” is celebrating Canada Day the best way he knows how.
Chad MacLean, a plumber by trade, is happy to celebrate the special things that make Canada unique.
“We’ve got hotdogs [from Germany], burgers [German] and ribs [Lousiana-style] on the barbecue [from the southern US]. There’s cold beer [from Belgian company Interbrew] in the cooler [that was made in Macau]. There’s nothing more Canadian than this!” according to MacLean.
“We even have the Hip playing [streaming through Spotify, a Swedish company; playing using Bluetooth, a Danish technology; through speakers made in Japan] so we can wave that flag [made in Vietnam] loud and proud!”
“Later on, the misses will break out the blender [made in China] and whip up some pina coladas [invented in Puerto Rico] or rum and cokes [Cuba] if you’re not into pineapple [Hawaii] and stuff like that.”
As the night progresses, MacLean says he will “Keep drinking until the bonfire [Celtic] reaches ten feet high so we can get the marshmallows [Egypt — no, really!] out for the kids. We’ll put tiki torches [Polynesia] out for the mosquitoes [hell].”
The highlight will happen at midnight when MacLean will break out fireworks [from China, imported via Allen’s Petro-Canada gas station in Timber River NB] and share a few joints [Jamaica] to celebrate the magnificence of Canada.
“And if they [unclear] don’t like it, they can go right back to where they [again, unclear] came from,” adds MacLean.
At press time, MacLean’s wife [Ireland] was trying to calm her husband down and prevent him from fighting his neighbor [Canada] for changing the words to the national anthem.
The Islander 