STRATFORD — Tim Horton’s has recently announced that due to popular demand, they are adding a third, fourth and fifth gas station/restaurant combination at the intersection of the Trans-Canada Highway and Kinlock road.
“Customers demand choice and variety,” said spokesperson Tom Holton. “We want to make it as easy and convenient as possible for our clients to pick up mediocre coffee and baked goods that get stuck to the paper bag with minimal downtime.”
Although there are concerns about saturating the coffee-and-pastry market in Stratford, local economist Les Moore says that the free market will allow only the strongest franchise to survive.
“Having multiple identical restaurants in the same area only makes sense — especially if you want to suffocate the competition [and overstimulate the population by getting them hooked on caffeine],” said Moore.
At press time, representatives are considering adding another outlet in the middle of the roundabouts in Stratford.
The Islander 