CHARLOTTETOWN – Numerous reports from various sources say that your aunts – sisters of your parents on both sides of your family – request updates on school as soon as is humanly possible.
Your aunt Gladys would like to know if you have to go far for the bus, as she did not have the “luxury” of a heated school bus when she was going to school and would like you to remember this.
Your aunt Elizabeth – also known as “Cool Aunt Betty” – wants to know if you have Mr. MacEachern for English, because she went to school with him (or possibly dated him; sources are unclear).
Great aunt Theodora, who is getting on in years, needs to know if the mittens she knitted for you will be big enough to get you through the winter this year, or if she should start another pair a size up. She’d also like to hear you speak French to her next time you see her (which, hopefully, will be before Christmas – hint-hint!).
At press time, your uncles all wanted to know if you made the basketball/volleyball/football team, or whatever sport you played, and if you think you’ll be able “to beat those [expletives] from the Grey this year or not.”
The Islander 