Local man uncertain he can admit to enjoying bingo unironically

BRACKLEY BEACH — A man in his mid-40s is unsure at what point he can admit to sincerely enjoying bingo.

“I used to go now and then when I was a kid. I’d tag along with my grandparents, and they’d let me play a card,” said the man who we are choosing not to identify to prevent relentless teasing from his family and friends. 

“What if my friends knew [that I was going to bingo in my mid-40s]?”

Local man

“That was back in the 80s when everyone smoked. You’d come out of there with yellow teeth and a craving for Marlboros.”

Although the man did admit to enjoying spending time with his relatives, he did admit that the biggest appeal was the potential to win cash prizes. 

“I obviously stopped going when I got older. No one would dare go as a teenager — what if someone saw you? But then, when I got a bit older, there were some fundraising events, and charity things… it was fun, and I could win money.”

His outlook changed again when he met an older coworker at a Legion bingo fundraiser.

“Well, [name redacted, but sounds old] saw me there, and she said she goes all the time. So we just started talking about work. And before I knew it, I had a half-dozen bingo dabbers, a bingo bag, and a reason to go every week. But we never, ever talk about it outside of the Legion. What if my friends knew?”

Before returning to the inside of the bingo hall, the unnamed man expressed hope that he would be able to invite his friends, but not until they turn 55.

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